As part of tonight’s Passover Seder, the Hagada talks about the four children: The wise child, the rebellious child, the ignorant child, and the child who doesn’t know enough to ask. There are dozens of commentaries on these children, and what they might symbolize.
I’ve always been especially interested in child 2, the rebellious child who separates himself from the reality of the redemption story, and from the group.
He asks, “What does this mean to you?” (ie, “It means nothing to me; what does it mean to you?” — to you and not to us — thereby deliberately separating himself from his community). He is told “for us, and not for you - because had you been there, separating yourself from the group, you would NOT have been redeemed.”
In the shadow of October 7, I am thinking a lot about that second child.
I have US friends right now who are adamant, life-long Israel-lovers, but whose own children are, to their parents’ heartbreak, running universities’ Students for Justice in Palestine chapters, and marching for Hamas. (In case there was any doubt about SJP wanting only humanitarian aid for Gaza, their latest national statement advocates that October 7 be reenacted against Jews again and again. Perhaps ‘rebellious’ is too tepid a word.)
I also have friends who have chosen to take themselves out of the equation. They have told me they’re “done with Israel,” and now see Israel as “them.” (Some of those folk, ironically, have children who are very involved with supporting Israel, some of whom are making aliyah.) These friends are divorcing from Israel - and divorcing Israel from their Judaism.
It is a fascinating psychological, philosophical juxtaposition, but heartbreaking in real life. (And it makes the Trump Thanksgiving dinner conundrums look trivial.)
I am curious about those second children. Many will be joining Passover Seders with family members who feel differently.
Will they recognize themselves when they read about the second child, who has abandoned his people, who sees his history as ‘they’ rather than ‘we’?
And what of those mindlessly chanting “from the river to the sea” without any idea which river, or where the sea is? Do they understand that they are the ignorant child? Or does ignorance, by definition, cause you to be oblivious to your own ignorance? Are they too ignorant to want to learn? Are they too ignorant to even care?
Or is it those of us living in Israel, with a possibly-existential, possibly-nuclear war about to begin, who are the real ignorant ones? We who, post-October 7th, have found our hope foundering, who are now no longer certain we can someday all live here in peace together?
Is it we who are the oblivious children who still haven’t learned? Are we hoping we will stay optimistically oblivious?
Is that continued obliviousness even possible?
And what of our child who is missing from the table entirely — because he is held hostage by Hamas in Gaza?
Doesn’t he deserve a voice?
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Wishing all of those celebrating a peaceful and meaningful Passover.
I re-captioned this so many times, but in the end I am leaving it up to you readers. Please let me know in the comments what the caption should be. I am rarely speechless. (Though now wondering if a Pro-Slavery Seder could catch on.)
Poignant and powerful. Considering reading at our Seder tonight. Sending our love as your shiva ends and shloshim is cut short.. Hope you can find some comfort in all your memories. Hope you can find some joy in the chag. And please stay safe ❤️
Fern I forgot to tell you my niece tried to talk to different Temples to do the same thing I asked to try and talk this out and she said she was ignored to we both want peace and understanding ❤️