Here are the jokes that have been going around. Enjoy!
Shabbat shalom.
* Qatar has graciously offered to help mediate between the student protests and Columbia University.
* At 2 am a few weeks ago, with everyone bleary-eyed in pajamas huddled in the bomb shelter the night of the Iranian attacks, one of the elderly neighbors says, “Now that we're all here, I want to know: Who hasn't chipped in for the elevator repair?”
* “Reports that Iranian warheads are being loaded with Chametz”
* “If the last Iranian missiles are scheduled for 4 am, what possible reason do they have for not opening kaytana (pre-holiday kids’ camp) at 7 am?!”
* These are the times of “drone entry”: Tel Aviv 8:31, Haifa 8:25, Jerusalem 8:43. (A play on the schedule of Shabbat times that appears in Israeli newspapers on Fridays.)
* Arriving between 5-9 pm: Iranian missiles (or) Hot (cable company) servicemen.
* Nine hours is enough time to rise dough; get your bread going so we don’t have another holiday with matzah!
This is the Wolt delivery app, telling you how long it will be til your delivery arrives. (540 minutes, about nine hours, ie, till the Iranian cruise missile arrives)
All the different dishes you can cook, in the amount of time till the Iranian missiles come:
Ballistic missile - 12 minutes: Omelette Sandwich
Cruise missile - 2 hours: Matbucha (North African cooked tomato dish)
Unmanned aircraft - 9 hours: Hamin (overnight-cooked chulent-type dish)
-30-
Hilarious. Leave it to the Israelis to find humor in dark times. Thank you for sharing.